I searched for 'push up' and this came up, so I'll keep it. Anyway press ups, push ups, whatever. I like the feeling of pushing myself away from the floor or the bed and easing myself back down again. Never touching. There's a control I savour because nobody gets hurt. But it's the blood I don't like. Nothing bleeds, but my head becomes red and I forget to breathe. I am scared of my own heartbeat and the feeling of my head filling up and turning red.